Pirate vs. Fairy

Mike and I were chatting about social media, the who's what's and where's.  I found it interesting that there seems to be 2 sides of myself that are really showing up in my social media'ness.  There's the "mommy"/choral singer/football lover/sometimes pirate swearing/ joke cracking/ aka the person that most people know me as.  Then there's the more spiritually growing, Light minded, a bit "airy fairy" woman learning to be an entrepreneur, coach and leader.  Pirate vs. Fairy.

Both sides are great, both are super important parts of me, but definitely not equally represented in my "social media'ness", as well as in my life.  Now, this whole spiritual awareness is relatively new.  I finally gave myself permission to tap into my Light so to speak, about a year ago, almost to the day that I am writing this post.  Tapping into my Light for me means that I've become more aware of the power of connection, listening to the still small voice, becoming a more heart centered individual.

I have noticed that I have been keeping those separate, kind of like the separation of church and state, separation of pirate and fairy.  But why?  This is an answer that will take much more than a blog entry to figure out, maybe its not meant to be "figured out", but this is what has been whirling around lately:
Is it that I don't want to freak people out?  My friends who are not spiritual, will they disown me for being?  What about my light minded friends, will they flip out that I can swear like a pirate and I'm not afraid of sailing down the non-graceful path from time to time?  Why the heck am I worrying about what other people think?  Well, because I have done that since I was a little girl.  Not an easy habit to break, though one that I am working on.

Here's the thing, I'm holding myself back by giving my "power" to other people, or even just to my Ego.  I've had people try to, with good intentions, jam me into a box that fits theirs.  I'm too music geeky, or not enough.  I'm not spiritual enough, or too much.  I'm not this, but if I were this then I'd fit in great.

Here's the thing, the only mold I fit in is the one that I've made for myself.  It's custom. I'm not messing around with stock woofers and rims.  Most importantly, it's mine.  
Do I meditate?  Yep.  Do I drop the f-bomb when a receiver drops the ball in the end zone?  Yep.  Have I said jokes that are a bit "touchy"?  Yep.  Can I connect to my Inner Being in a way that a lot of people can't?  Yep.  Have I been able to make people cry in gratitude by just looking them in the eyes and sending them love without saying a word?  Yep.  This is who I am.  Am I unique?  H-E-double hockey sticks YES!  And so is everybody reading this post! 

Pirate vs. Fairy?  How about a fairy wing wearing pirate? Arrr...