Why is this lesson not being learned?

Why are some lessons easier to grasp than others?
Honestly, I have a little bit of an idea, but that's not really why I'm blogging tonight.
I'm super disappointed with myself.  The past few days with my beautiful kiddos have been tough.  Why?  Well, I haven't felt like myself for about a year... no, really almost 4.  And yes, this does line up with the birth of both of my kids, but it's not their fault.

My patience as the past few years have ticked by, has gone from having the longest fuse in the world, to having absolutely no fuse, and feeling like a ticking time bomb.  I've gained a lot of weight, I'm crazy stressed out with being a stay at home mom (which I definitely don't always love), being a caregiver of sorts to my mom and dealing with all of her dramatic situations, I'm overwhelmed, pissed off, can't look at myself in the mirror, have no libido left, I'm a mess.
So here's the interesting thing, I may be a mess, but yet I'm super happy to help others get out of theirs.
What?!  Doesn't make sense, and totally goes against what I'm beginning to teach... you must be selfish in order to help others.

What's the deal?  I'm realizing that I'm not going completely crazy, but I may have a hormonal imbalance.  It would explain the cravings that I have, the mood swings, just not feeling like "ME"... there's only so much coaching one can do before I realized that it's way more than something that is coachable.  This is definitely not.

I'm going to be looking into finding a holistic practitioner/MD, that really knows their stuff from multiple points of view.  I don't want to be put on those nasty drugs!!! Heck no!!  However, I will take supplements that can boost, or restart and upload the 2.0 version of me, the person that I miss dearly, and honestly, my husband does too.

So, the lesson is:  if you don't feel like yourself, if you're going off the wall, moody, just completely "off", you're not crazy, your hormones may be.  Get it checked out, ladies.  Don't let you doctor talk you in to nasty drugs, but look for alternatives that can help you adjust naturally.  Remember, it's your body.

And... forgive yourself here and now for being a raging bitch, at least I have been.  It's time to start taking care of yourself from the inside out, in a complete and healthy way.