The past 7 days have been tough for my 2 kids. Our daughter was the first one knocked out with Influenza, and our son followed a few days later. It has been hard seeing them so unhappy. It has also been difficult attempting to parent while functioning on such little sleep. We’re talking 2-4 hours a night. Not good for the physical, as well as the Spiritual being!
Today was especially tricky. Vaitea, our daughter, was feeling better, but also living into her 3 ½ year old defiant stage. Talk about a little girl who was pushing every single boundary she could, from blatantly ignoring me, to taking swings at me. All of this has developed very recently, and it’s troubling. It troubles me that I am not able to handle it as well as I thought I would.
You see the TV shows, read the books, about the terrible 2’s, but they have NOTHING on the “trying 3’s” and in our case, most likely the “freakin’ 4’s” this summer. She’s mentally and physically tough. She always has been, we instilled that in her from a very young age. Now, I’m kicking myself a bit…. ok, I am proud that she is finding her voice, standing up for herself already, and becoming quite independent, but wow it's backfiring from my end.
The most troubling part is my choice of words. When I come to the point of mass irritation, my words are not happy, they aren’t “oh, it’s ok”. They are negative. The amount of times I say the word “no” is a bit shocking. I took time after they finally fell asleep, to recount the day. It was definitely not a proud day for my parenting skills, which is why I find it so important to blog about it this evening.
So, the day is over. What next? I am now going to take the time to find the lessons within my day by asking simple, but powerful questions. Examples: What do I need to work on? If a similar situation arises again, how can I handle it differently next time? What can I do so that my irritation doesn’t get too hot? Is taking away toys and videos working as a consequence for her, or not so much?
Always end on a positive note!! What was totally awesome about today? What were the kids proud of today? Is there anything special that they want to do tomorrow? How can I make tomorrow awesome for them, as well as me?
The really important part as you sit and receive your lessons is that you aren’t harsh on yourself!! It’s SO easy for us to feel like we’ve failed after a tough day. So easy to NOT look in the mirror b/c it’s just too embarrassing. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE! Be kind, forgiving, grateful, let yourself release those tough moments of your day. Releasing what doesn’t serve you anymore is a fantastic way of acknowledging those lessons gratefully, and then moving on.
Another tip: establish an environment that is positive, loving, comfortable, before you take in your lessons. Light some candles, have a nice cup of warm cocoa or tea. I’m listening to jazz as I write this. Why? Because I love jazz! It’s music that I groove to very easily. My body and soul let go of everything when I listen to jazz. I’m pretty sure my soul used to be a jazz musician. For some, it may be Classical music, other’s it might be Broadway, or Pop, though I don’t suggest music that is too distracting, or the lessons may get lost in translation, or lost as Idina Menzel defies gravity! Something that makes you happy, but you’re not going to start singing along with it…
If you live in a very loud area, or distract easily, silence is a great route. I have to be pretty silent when I’m journaling, or I listen to very specific classical music, mostly piano sonatas, something that activates my heart and soul musically, but doesn’t distract me so much that I’m humming the tune and not paying attention. Jazz is working for me right now because I really needed to be in an uplifted, warm environment. Sometimes I have to be super silent to receive any lessons. Everyday is different, so listen to your heart, your Spirit, it will tell you what you need at that very moment.
Parenting is awesome, it’s challenging, it’s tiring, it’s lonely, it’s rewarding, it’s packed full of lessons for everybody, the list goes on. As some of you know, my niche has been narrowing, and it's now settling in quite nicely. I’m excited to be working on my website, looking at a few certification options, and just movin’ and grooving as I learn to surrender, and live into my niche: “helping mother’s get out of the fog of parenting overwhelm, discovering their passions, showing them the importance of permission, and nurturing balance”. I really want moms to see that you can get out of the fog. It takes work, it takes courage, compassion, LOVE, but as impossible as it may seem for some, it can be done.
I didn’t think I could do it, but I did. If somebody would have asked me 3 ½ months ago “so, are you going to find your purpose in 2011?” I would have answered “Are you kidding?! I doubt it”… Oh goodness, was I ever closed off! I don’t want to say that I was “wrong” b/c I wasn’t; I just wasn’t ready to receive until now. I’ll elaborate in my next entry! I feel that’s an entire entry of its own.
Loves and hugs!!
No comments:
Post a Comment